Publius

CLIO

2008-02-04T16:07:00.000-08:00

THE AGE

Now when the foreign judge had been by the minister questioned As to his people's distress, and how long their exile had lasted, Thus made answer the man: "Of no recent date are our sorrows; Since of the gathering bitter of years our people have drunken,−− Bitterness all the more dreadful because such fair hope had been blighted. Who will pretend to deny that his heart swelled high in his bosom, And that his freer breast with purer pulses was beating; When we beheld the new sun arise in his earliest splender, When of the rights of men we heard, which to all should be common, Were of a righteous equality told, and inspiriting freedom?

Every one hoped that then he should live his own life, and the fetters, Binding the various lands, appeared their hold to be loosing,−− Fetters that had in the hand of sloth been held and self−seeking. Looked not the eyes of all nations, throughout that calamitous season, Towards the world's capital city, for so it had long been considered, And of that glorious title was now, more than ever, deserving?

From
Hermann and Dorothea By Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

www.history1700s.com/etext/html/pdf/handd.pdf

Tribute to Soviet Airwomen: The Night Witches

2007-03-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

The Nachthexen

In 1942 the Soviet Union formed three regiments of women combat pilots who flew night combat missions of harassment bombing. They flew obsolete Polikarpov Po-2 biplanes, that were otherwise used as trainers, and which could only carry 2 bombs that weighted less than a ton altogether. They were so successful and deadly the Germans feared them, calling them "Nachthexen"—night witches. (Some sources state that they were nicknamed "Night Witches" because it was made up entirely of female pilots and they flew their missions in the wooden Po-2's at night.) The Night Witches were the women of the 588th Night Bomber Regiment. All of the mechanics and bomb loaders of this regiment, as in the 586th IAP and the 587th Bomber Regiment, were also women. The Soviet women bomber pilots earned in total 23 Hero of the Soviet Union medals and dozens of Orders of the Red Banner. Two women bomber pilots—Katya Ryabova and Nadya Popova—in one night raided the Germans 18 times. The Po-2 pilots flew more than 24,000 sorties and dropped 23,000 tons of bombs. Most of the women bomber pilots who survived the war in 1945 had racked up nearly 1,000 missions each. They had served so exemplarily throughout the whole war that they participated in the final onslauqht on Berlin.

Tactics used by the Night Witches

The 588th, like all night bomber regiments, usually practiced harassment bombing. This consisted of going to the encampments, rear area bases, supply depots, etc., where the enemy was trying to rest from a day of heavy fighting to another, and bombing them. The strategic importance of the targets was seldom high, but the psychological effect of terror and insecurity and constant restlessness in the Germans (and Rumanians, Italians, Finns...) was very effective.
Harassment night bombing was very difficult to do, considering the low performance of the Po-2 biplanes (their top speed was 94 mph/150 kph, less even than most World War I fighters!) and how vulnerable that made them to enemy night fighters. But the Night Witches learned their trade well. The Po-2 was very slow, but it was also very maneuverable. When a German Me-109 tried to intencept it, the Russian plane could turn violently and nimbly at much less than the 109's minimum speed (stall speed), requiring that the German make a wide circle to come in for another pass. Then he was again met with the same evasive tactic, time after time. Many pilots got to nearly earth-level, flying low enough to be hidden behind hedgerows! The German fighter could only try again and again until he got frustrated and just left the Po-2 alone. No wonder, German pilots were promised an Iron Cross for shooting down a Po-2.

Note: Actually, the stall speed of the E, F, and G models of the Me-109 (the ones used in the Soviet Union) was nearing 120 mph/192 kph, so the Messerschmitt could never equal the speed of the Po-2, because even the Russian biplane's top speed was lesser than the German fighter's stall speed. The other fighter (more commonly) used in the Eastern Front, the Focke-Wulf FW-190A, had also a high stall speed, so its predicament was the same.

The Witches would fly to a certain distance of the enemy encapments that were to be the target, and cut their engine. They would then glide silently, silently... When the Fascists started to hear the whistle of the wind against the Po-2's wing bracing wires, they realized in panic that it was too late. The Night Witches would sneak up on them and release their bombs, then restart their engines and fly away home.

The Po-2 would pass often undetected by the night fighters' radar, because of the mildly radar absorbing nature of the canvas surfaces, and the fact that mostly they flew near the ground. German planes equipped with infrared seekers would not see the little heat generated by the small, 110 horsepower engine.

Searchlights, however, were another story. The Germans at Stalingrad developed what the Russians called a "flak circus". They would bring out the flak guns that had been hidden during the day, and lay them in concentric circles around probable targets, and the same with the searchlights. Po-2s crossing the perimeter in pairs in the straight line flight path typical of untrained but determined Russian flyers were usually ripped to pieces by the Flak 37 guns. The 588th, however, developed another tactic. They flew in formations of three. Two would go in first, attract the attention of the searchlights, and when all of them pointed to them in the sky, separate suddenly in opposite directions and maneuver wildly to try to shake them off. The German searchlight operators would follow them, while the third bomber who was farther back snuck in through the darkened path made by her 2 comrades and hit the target unopposed. She would then get out, rejoin with the other two, and they would switch places until all three had delivered their payloads. It took nerves of steel to be a decoy and willingly attract enemy fire, but as Nadya Popova said: "It worked."

This is a Polikarpov Po-2 biplane similar to those used by the 588th Night Bomber Regiment. Most were unarmed except for their ordnance, but some carried a 7.62mm machine gun on a swivel-mount in the observer's position in the rear.

Source: http://pratt.edu/~rsilva/witches.htm

Chaos Theory and War

2007-01-03T22:34:00.000-08:00

1) Chaos Theory

a) "A chaotic system is one in which nearly nearly identical initial conditions can lead after a while to entirely different outcomes."[1]

The presence of chaos in a system means that for any given accuracy with which we specify the intitial conditions, there will eventually come a time at which we lose all ability to predict how the system will behave, but it is still true that however we want to be able to predict the behavior of a physical system governed by Newton's laws, there is some degree of accuracy with which a measurement of the initial conditions would allow us to make this prediction."[2]

i) What this means is that a chaotic system is dependent upon the initial conditions[3]

b) According to Nicholls and Tagarev, there is evidence that warfare is chaotic.

First, strategic decision making, an integral part of war, has been found to be chaotic. Second, nonline- arity, which is a requirement for chaotic behavior, appears to be a natural result of Clausewitzian friction. Third, some computer war games and arms race simulations have been found to exhibit chaotic behavior. Fourth, previous work ... applied several tests for chaos to historical data related to war. Those tests demonsrated that warfare is chaotic at the grand strategic, strategic, and operational levels.[4]
What this means for us is that is warfare is chaotic at the strategic level, it is very difficult for statesmen to control what they have begun. More importantly, the initial period of the war is critical. Chaotic systems are extremely dependent on their initial conditions.

Chaotic systems never repeat exactly because their future behavior is extremely sensitive to initial conditions. Thus, infinitesimal differences in initial conditions eventually cause large changes in system behavior.[5]

c) What this means for warfare is that while it cannot be reduced to a set of equations, chaos theory can at least provide bounds.

i) Problem is that equations which govern chaotic systems are nolinear equations and therefore not analytically soluble.

ii) A theory of warfare must be based on obsertvations, hypothesis and testing. A model of warfare would require a structure of the model, the determination of the number and type of variables, and the determination of the form of the equations. Chaos theory can be used to define the minimum number of variables required in our computer model.

The rate of information loss can be calculated for a chaotic system. This quantity is related to how far into the future predictions can be reasonably be made.[6] For example if we found ourselves in conditions of great unpredictability, we could determine what conditions could bring us to a new position where the outcome is predictable and desirable (i.e., controllable). Additionally, a warfare model can be used to determine the initial conditions and whcih variables have the most effect on the predictions. This would aid in identifying the center of gravity of the enemy.

All chaotic systems are nonlinear. Among other things, nonlinearity means that a small effort can have a disproportionate effect. If warfare is chaotic, then chaos theory suggests COGs may be found where there is a nonlinear process in the enemy's system ... Because you can't predict future behavior of a chaotic system based on initial conditions, chaos theory suggests that the campaign planner should concentrate on process in an emeny system rather than data on its current condition.[7]

iii) Sources of nonlinearity in warfare:

(1) Feedback - Col Warden suggested massing for a few blows rather than many minor blows as a result of attrition analysis.

(2) Psychology associated with interpreting enemy actions. Clausewitz stated that in strategy everything is very simple, but not on that account very easy. Maneuvers, such as flanking movements are simple in concept, they are difficult to accomplish because there is always the danger of what the enemy might be doing. "In this environment, small actions on the part of the enemy often assume larger significance in a commander's mind than they deserve."[8]

(3) There are a number of processes within warfare that appear to be inherently nonlinear. Mass for example being one. Warden showed that airpower losses vary disproportionately with the ratio of forces involved.

(4) Clausewitzian friction demonstrates that there are events in war which, whether through chance or not, have a disproportionate effect out of their apparent importance. Though difficult to predict, it can be taken advantage of once it happens. German doctrine of Auftragstaktik, allowing initiative on part of junior commanders, was designed to do precisely this.[9]

(5) The process of decision making is itself nonlinear. Sometimes decision clear-cut, but other times the decision can depend upon relatively minor circumstances at the time.

iv) If warfare is chaotic, then aspects of it must be fractal

(1) The attracto of a chaotic system is fractal and therefore infinitely complex. Efforts to analyze every aspect of an enemy's system are bound to be in vain as there will always be some finer level to analyze.

(2) Behaviors at the tactical, operational, and strategic level are linked. One thing that succeeds at the tactical level can succeed at higher levels. Sun Tzu implied fractal nature of war "Generally, management of many is the same as management of few." This means that the principles and processes in war are essentially the same regardless of the scale of the fight.[10]

d) Multiple attractors are possible in war. That is the difficlty that we encounter, because chaotic systems can have multiple quasi-stable states.
In war, this means that the enemy can change the organization and means of fighting a war. Example, North Vietnamese and Viet Cong actions. As warfare is chaotic, enemy systems can exist in different states. We must be capable of changing our own state in response. [11]

e) Some terms associated with Chaos Theory

i) Strange attractor - paths around which chaotic trajectories occur. The space paths never coincide and indeed the longer one looks at a chaotic system the more paths are taken and the more messier the phase space plot of the attractor appears.[12]

ii) Poincaré Map - Two-dimensional slice through attractor, makes its structure more obvious.

iii) Fractals - Objects with fractional dimensions. Ex. object wtih 1.5 dimensions is more than a line but less than a plane. An example of such a figure is the Koch snowflake (and equilateral triangle with one-third scale triangle added to each side of the resulting figure, ad-infinitum). Benoit Mandelbrot calculated the dimension of the perimeter of the Koch Snowflake to be 1.26 (between a line and a plane). These geometries are central to chaos theory because strange attractors are fractal. Strange attractors are infinite curves that never intersect within a finite area or volume.[13] If system is chaotic it will have a strange attractor and the Poincaré map will show fractal characteristics.

[1] Steven Weinberg, Dreams of a Final Theory: The Scientist's Search for the Ultimate Laws of the Universe, (New York: Vintage Books edition, 1994), p. 36.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Maj David Nicholls, USAF and Maj Todor D. Tagarev, Bulgarian AF, "What does Chaos Theory Mean for Warfare?" Airpower Journal, Vol. VIII, No. 3, Fall 1994, p. 49.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Ibid.
[6] Ibid., p. 53.
[7] Ibid., p. 55.
[8] Ibid., p. 55.
[9] Ibid., p. 56.
[10] Ibid.
[11] Ibid., p. 57.
[12] Ibid., p. 51.
[13] Ibid., p. 52.1)

I am Just a Number to You: One of 73,951

2006-07-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

Hispanic Diversity Glance
By The Associated Press
Sat Jul 15, 12:30 PM ET

Hispanics from Puerto Rico and Cuba have had much different immigration experiences than have Latinos from other countries. Puerto Ricans are U.S. citizens and most Cubans are allowed to stay in the United States if they make it to U.S. shores. The number of Hispanics who listed each ethnicity on the 2000 census:

Country No. Pct
Mexican: 20,900,102; 59.3
General Hispanic: 5,540,627; 15.7
Puerto Rican: 3,403,510; 9.7
Cuban: 1,249,820; 3.5
Dominican: 799,768; 2.3
Salvadoran: 708,741; 2.0
Colombian: 496,748; 1.4
Guatemalan: 407,127; 1.2
Ecuadorian: 273,013; 0.8
Peruvian: 247,601; 0.7
Honduran: 237,431; 0.7
Nicaraguan: 194,493; 0.6
Spaniard: 112,999; 0.3
Argentinian: 107,275; 0.3
Panamanian: 98,475; 0.3
Venezuelan: 96,091; 0.3
Other Central American: 93,234; 0.3
Chilean: 73,951; 0.2 . I wonder which one is me?
Costa Rican: 72,175; 0.2
Other South American: 50,941; 0.1
Bolivian: 45,188; 0.1
Uruguayan: 20,242; 0.1
Paraguayan: 8,929; 0.0
Total: 35,238,481
___
Source: 2000 census.

The Beautiful Game

2006-07-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

This article appeared in Nature 442, 110(13 July 2006) | doi:10.1038/442110b; Published online 12 July 2006

The beautiful game

Punditry took a hiding in Germany.

One of the overriding messages from the World Cup that has just ended in Berlin is that football (that's soccer to our American readers) is almost impossible to predict. As a low-scoring game, it has an inherently stochastic quality that makes it gloriously exciting and palm-thumpingly frustrating in equal measure.

The struggle to anticipate World Cup results has taken many forms. In London, The Guardian newspaper attempted to verify the mantra of the Internet age that wisdom lies with the masses, inviting readers to vote for different betting options for each match. By the end of the tournament, the people made a profit, turning £250 (US$460) into £356. However, the newspaper's pet goldfish, which chose its bets by swimming to different parts of its tank, put them to shame, ending up with £369.

A look at more 'scientific' efforts at prediction turns up similar examples of painful hubris. A group of Norwegian mathematicians, for example, designed a computer model that simulated the complete tournament 2,000 times over (see http://www.nature.com/news). It predicted a Brazilian victory — but in reality, Brazil performed rather miserably and only made the quarter-finals. [No Kidding!!!]

Perhaps the tournament's least adroit piece of scientific punditry, however, came from Michael Shadlen, a neuroscientist at the University of Washington in Seattle. In an interview for Nature's online World Cup preview, he hailed French maestro Zinedine Zidane as the world's most intelligent footballer. Zidane certainly made his mark, winning the Golden Ball award as the tournament's outstanding player — before being sent off in Sunday's final for a disgraceful headbutt on an opponent. Not too clever, really. [Especially since no one yelled GOOOOOOOOOOOOl]

At least Italian scientists can take heart from that bombastic finale. The country's footballers have returned home in glory as deserved champions, to face a match-fixing scandal that could see several of the clubs that employ them relegated in ignominy. But as researchers there can testify, flourishing in the face of official incompetence and corruption is just what all Italian professionals have to do, every day of the week.

**********

Bottom line: VIVA FOOTBALL!

The Historical Origin of the Term "Aviator"

2006-06-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

As aviators, we come from a long line of a secret society, formed around one thousand years ago. We are warriors. Ground pounders and civilians can read it and weep!

Phu Khen (pronounced Foo Ken) 1169-? is considered by some to be the most unrecognized military officer in history. Many have never heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of this secret society is to bring honor to the name of Phu Khen.

A 'Khen' was a subordinate to a 'Khan' (pronounced 'konn') in the military structure of the Mongol hordes. Khan is Turkish for leader. Most know of the great Genghis Khan, but little has been written of his chain of command. Khen is also of Turkish origin. Although there no word in English that adequately conveys the meaning, roughly translated, it means, "One who will do the impossible, while appearing unprepared and complaining constantly."

Phu Khen was one of ten Khens that headed the divisions, or groups of hordes, as they were known, of the Mongol Army serving under Genghis Khan. His abilities came to light during the Mongols' raids on the Turkestan city of Bohicaroo. Bohicans were fierce warriors and the city was well fortified. The entire city was protected by huge walls and the hordes were at a standoff with the Bohicans. Bohicaroo was well-stocked and it would be difficult to wait them out. Genghis Khan assembled his Khens and ordered each of them to develop a plan for penetrating the defenses of Bohicaroo.

Operation Achieve Victory (AV) was born. All 10 divisions of Khens submitted their plan. After reviewing AV plans 1 thru 7 and finding them all unworkable or ridiculous, Genghis Khan was understandably upset. It was with much trepidation that Phu Khen submitted his idea, which came to be known as AV 8. Upon seeing AV 8, Genghis was convinced this was the perfect plan and gave his immediate approval. The plan was beautifully simple. Phu Khen would arm his hordes to the teeth, load them into catapults, and hurl them over the wall. The losses were expected to be high, but hey, hordes were cheap! Those that survived the flight would engage the enemy in combat. Those that did not? Well, surely their flailing bodies would cause some damage.

The plan worked and the Bohicans were defeated. From that day on, whenever the Mongol Army encountered an insurmountable enemy, Genghis Khan would give the order, "Send some of Phu Khen's AV 8-ers." This is believed, though not by anyone outside our secret society, to be the true origin of the word Aviator (AV 8-er).

Phu Khen's AV 8-ers were understandably an unruly mob, not likely to be socially acceptable. Many were heavy drinkers and insomniacs. But when nothing else would do, you could always could always count on an AV 8-er. A Phu Khen Aviator denied, perhaps rightfully so, his place in history, Phu Khen has been, nonetheless, immortalized in prose.

As the great poet Norman Lear never once said:

"There once was a man named Phu Khen,
Whose breakfast was whiskey and gin.
When ever he'd fly, He'd give a mighty war cry:
Bend over, here it comes again."

Consider it an honor to be a Phu Khen Aviator. Wear the mantle
proudly, but speak of it cautiously. It is not always popular to be one of us. You hear mystical references, often hushed whispers, to 'those Phu Khen Aviators.' Do not let these things bother you. As with any secret society, we go largely misunderstood, prohibited by our apathy from explaining ourselves.

You are expected to always live down to the reputation of the Phu Khen Aviator... a reputation cultivated for centuries, undaunted by scorn or ridicule, unhindered by progress. So drink up, be crude, sleep late, urinate in public, and get the job done.

Mors ab Alto

2006-06-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

Romance Sonámbulo

2006-06-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

Romance Sonámbulo por Federico Garcia Lorca

A Gloria Giner y Fernando de los Ríos

Verde que te quiero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar
y el caballo en la montaña.
Con la sombra en la cintura
ella sueña en su baranda,
verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Verde que te quiero verde.
Bajo la luna gitana,
las cosas la están mirando
y ella no puede mirarlas.

Verde que te quiero verde.
Grandes estrellas de escarcha,
vienen con el pez de sombra
que abre el camino del alba.
La higuera frota su viento
con la lija de sus ramas,
y el monte, gato garduño,
eriza sus pitas agrias.
¿Pero quién vendrá? ¿Y por dónde...?
Ella sigue en su baranda,
verde carne, pelo verde,
soñando en la mar amarga.
Compadre, quiero cambiar
mi caballo por su casa,
mi montura por su espejo,
mi cuchillo por su manta.
Compadre, vengo sangrando,
desde los puertos de Cabra.
Si yo pudiera, mocito,
ese trato se cerraba.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
ni mi casa es ya mi casa.
Compadre, quiero morir
decentemente en mi cama.
De acero, si puede ser, con
las sábanas de holanda.
¿No ves la herida que tengo
desde el pecho a la garganta?
Trescientas rosas morenas
lleva tu pechera blanca.
Tu sangre rezuma y huele
alrededor de tu faja.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
ni mi casa es ya mi casa.
Dejadme subir al menos
hasta las altas barandas,
¡dejadme subir!, dejadme
hasta las verdes barandas.
Barandales de la luna por
donde retumba el agua.

Ya suben los dos compadres
hacia las altas barandas.
Dejando un rastro de sangre.
Dejando un rastro de lágrimas.
Temblaban en los tejados
farolillos de hojalata.
Mil panderos de cristal,
herían la madrugada.

Verde que te quiero verde,
verde viento, verdes ramas.
Los dos compadres subieron.
El largo viento, dejaba
en la boca un raro gusto
de hiel, de menta y de albahaca.
¡Compadre! ¿Dónde está, dime?
¿Dónde está tu niña amarga?
¡Cuántas veces te esperó!
¡Cuántas veces te esperara
cara fresca, negro pelo,
en esta verde baranda!

Sobre el rostro del aljibe
se mecía la gitana.
Verde cama, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Un carámbano de luna
la sostiene sobre el agua.
La noche se puso íntima
como una pequeña plaza.
Guardias civiles borrachos
en la puerta golpeaban.
Verde que te quiero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar.
Y el caballo en la montana.

Our Wood

2006-01-01T12:58:00.000-08:00

Our Wood...

Is a magical place
where I laid my head...
in your lap... and ran my
fingers through your hair...
I told you my greatest dreams
and cried my saddest songs...
where my dreams came to...
nothing

I dreamed of finding you
in our wood...
of birches and firs
of sunflowers and golden bumblebees
who buzzed and buzzed
around two ghostly figures
that sought to find one another...
and almost did

I cried for the peace of our wood
by a brook of crystal waters
formed by tears of...
anguished hearts who roam and roam
the valleys and hills of life
in search of ...
a dream too good to be true...
and it is

The slumber of drunkenness
provides no relief, nor brings me closer...
to our wood, where we sought to join
in a place that time stood still
where joy would last...
but whose magic is short-lived

That I’ve resigned myself to a life...
of... dreams, slumber, dizzing heights
and deepest lows...is but a dialectical process.
A statue in our wood dries... ever harder
and harder... the plaster conforms...
to fate’s unseen hand that shapes...
a mold it did not choose ... my
contribution is the tear in its eye

El Español es espíritu, el Ingles es material

2005-10-23T14:33:00.001-07:00

El español es espíritu, el Ingles es material

By Federico Anaya Sánchez

English is matter, just matter—
Something that floats—
Invisible or visible, a tool—
Necessity of flesh and business,

A thought of clean tongues,
white language,
Teutonic speech.

Spanish is breath
and blood,
the face becoming the thought,
calling forth the hands
in particular tones.

It is a pilgrimage
Through all Latin countries
where lisps are beloved,
s’s, disavowed,
r’s, chameleons,
and everyone knows
how to roar.

In Spanish, kiss me
is one word. Sí has a sea of meanings,
and you can feel heat
beating from the
o in sol.

And no one loves
Cars and houses—
only people,
their land and their God.

I have... Alexander Pushkin

2005-10-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

Я вас любил: любовь ещё, быть может;
В душе моей угасла не совсем;
Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит;
Я не хочу печалить вас ничем.

Я вас люби безмолвно, безнадежно,
То робостью, то ревностью томим;
Я вас любил так искренно, так нежно,
Как дай вам Бог любимой быть другим.

My Life as a Debt Consultant

2005-09-03T12:59:00.000-07:00

There I was, on a Monday morning, at our corporate offices in the basement of the Rickards building, sitting at my desk, speaking on the telephone, when my partner, Bill, rushes in, bellowing:

“Ignacious, you’re about to get a parking ticket. Move your car”

“What do you mean? It says I have an hour parking; and my name is Ignacio”

“Today is Monday and parking is restricted in the morning for street cleaning.”

I dropped the telephone and a possible client, and I rushed out of our corporate offices in order to avoid an $18 parking ticket. Just in time. The unsympathetic motorized parking control officer had already written a parking ticket to the silver Chevy Caprice and I was next. I rushed to the car in the nick of time and managed to move to another place. I walked back to the office.

“Thanks Bill, you saved me.”

“No problem. Let’s have a cigarette.”

We go outside and our sanitation engineer, Shorty the wino, rushes up.

“Permission to address you sir.”

Shorty has delusions that he was in the Marine Corps; too much cheap vodka. That or he’s trying to garner sympathy. Every now and then he tells us that his name is Larry King.

“Request granted. Go ahead.”

“I don’t want to appear like a bum but could you guys spare me $3.60?”

“What do you want to do with it, Shorty?”

“Well, I ain’t going to lie about it. I’m going to get a bottle of vodka for me and the missus.”

“I’ll tell you what. Here is $5.00 but you have to sweep the corporate pathway for us.”

“Bless you. I will sweep it all up. Marine Corps HOOH AHH.”

Puff, puff, puff… planning… puff, puff, puff… clients… puff, puff, puff

Bill: "But Dan is the one that grabbed me and I have not been goofing off…"

Bill, first turn on the power to the computer before you begin to work…

Bill’s idea of business: “Oh come on, we can’t charge this poor lady…”

“I want $100, Bill”

There we are, on Aisle 5 of the Office Depot…

“Bill we ain’t going in your trashy car”

“What’s wrong with my car?”

“It looks like someone dropped an atomic bomb inside of it; it’s nuked!”

Back at the office, as he stood up to greet our client, my partner’s pants fell down…

Our first client lost the winning ticket to a $25 million California Lottery. He told us the whole sad story. He bought the ticket at a small Mom and Pop store. Later when he saw that he had won, he went in to cash the ticket. They took the ticket from him but gave him a photocopy of it. Later, no one knew anything about the ticket. The California Lottery Commission attempted to have our client indicted for fraud. Luckily the client ran away so…

Dreams Lost

2005-09-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

In the Afternoon of My Life

Stone is a forehead where dreams grieve
without curving waters and frozen cypresses.
Stone is a shoulder on which to bear Time
with trees formed of tears and ribbons and planets.
Federico Garcia Lorca “Lament for Ignacio Sanchez Mejias”

Things do not occur without some special need for them;
Who will remember me? The gray that I’ve seen
Of winter’s misty streets at dusk
the lighted building windows against the darkness of the sky;
the rebirth of life and spirit that I felt
like Cherry blossoms during Spring;
the hot sultry nights of Summer
where two lovers chance fate’s decrees.
The reds, yellows and browns of Autumn’s rainbow,
that forecast Winter’s gray and white sheet.
Who will remember yesterday’s memories that
I strain to capture in these few lines for you.

I sometimes think that never blows so red
The Rose as where some buried Caesar bled;
That every Hyacinth the Garden wears
Dropt in its Lap from some once lovely head
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

What is the cause of things, why are they so?
Is it some heavenly master plan or
Fickle fate that prevented you and I from ever meeting?
Perhaps we would have not prevailed…
Or… our happiness too short lived.
But… perhaps… we would have.

For you, I would have: fought dragons,
conquered mountains,
written songs and poems,
collected flowers for your mornings,
sat by you in the afternoon
driving home from work;
brought you a blanket and my
burning body to keep you warm
during the cold nights;
loved you with all my being, for
only you have I loved, and
was honored to be loved by you.
This you must know.

Yet darkness comes to us all,
my heart’s wounds are too deep;
for I bared my soul; now the pain is
more than I can bear.
For a brief moment I wondered:
Do dreams come true after all
these years?
Alas, they remain but dreams.

The child and the afternoon do not know you
because you have died forever.

The autumn will come with small white snails,
misty grapes and with clustered hills,
but no one will look into your eyes
because you have died forever.

Because you have died for ever,
like all the dead of the earth, like all the dead who are forgotten
in a heap of lifeless dogs.

Nobody knows you. No.
Federico Garcia Lorca “Llanto por Ignacio Sanchez Mejias”

In the afternoon of my life, I sit on a rock that
prevents me from seeing other rocks;
my thoughts about yesterday are buried in those rocks.
I do not remember my past,
I do not care about the “future”;
“past, present, future”; they are but
words that some philosopher made up;
they have no relevance for the dead
and the dying.

The Clock of the Years

2005-09-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

The Clock of the Years by William Carlos Williams

Every man
is his own clock
Tic toc
he may rise
by the sun
and go to sleep
with the stars
Tic toc
but if he
take stock
and come to knock
at fate’s door
he may find
that he himself
has sprung the lock
against himself.

Useless
to knock
now, the door
will not open—
save only
at the shock
of love,
to deliver him
from that block,
unlock,
his heart and
set it beating again:
Tic toc
Tic toc
tic toc!

Two Poems in Honor of Richard Brautigan

2005-09-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

Number One
A perverse mystery...
in the afternoon of my life
I see the road ahead...

I don’t want to take it
but I have no choice...
it is my fate.

the end

Number Two

I stopped breathing the other day
It seemed the right thing to do;
My taxes are paid,
only death remains providing...
that the IRS doesn’t
come after me.

I would have to return because...
litigation outside a courtroom is
not allowed: it infringes upon a lawyer’s
right to their fees.
Not even death will prevail.

Brautigan is writing another book:
In Watermelon Sugar II or...
Trout Fishing in America II;
He won’t tell me.
In an age of clones
I’m not sure if it’s Brautigan’s Ghost or...
Brautigan’s Ghost II.

the end too

Truth-In-Love Disclosure Statement--A Pre-Relationship Agreement

2005-08-31T12:34:00.000-07:00

TRUTH-IN-LOVE DISCLOSURE STATEMENT

I, the undersigned paramour, hereby agree to abide by the time-honored romantic tradition of completely misrepresenting who I am at the beginning of our relationship, to be increasingly candid in the middle stages and to finally reveal my stunning array of character defects, true beliefs and annoying quirks at the end.

This agreement shall be fully implemented within six months, being the estimated time it will take for our eternal, undying love to change to bitter resentment:

1. Ridiculously early in our relationship, I covenant to begin calling you my soulmate, even though neither I nor my 29 previous soulmates have any clue what that word means.

2. When asked why my prior relationships didn’t work out, I shall state, “We had different goals,” failing to mention that one of mine is to sabotage all relationships.

3. I will tell you that I love all the little things that you do, when in fact, I hate all the little things you do, especially the way you (choose one or more): talk incessantly, squeeze the toothpaste in the middle, sneak up on me with a flashlight.

4. Men: I shall misrepresent that I love to communicate, listen to Sting or Josh Groban, and especially dance. Women: I shall misrepresent that I have a deep interest in the standings, statistical leaders and weekly injury reports for all major sports.

5. I will insist with a straight face that I never want to try to change you, even as my list of suggestions form improving your appearance, personality and lifestyle approaches the 10,000 mark.

6. I shall pretend to find it cute how your cat climbs all over me while I’m sucking on an asthma inhaler at the same time that your dog is attempting to have intimate relations with my leg.

7. We shall tak on the phone at the follwing frequency: 1st month: five times per day. 2nd month: three times per day. 3rd and 4th months: once per day. 5th month: when I need a ride. 6th month: when I forget to check my caller ID.

8. In the 2nd month, I agree to begin combining the words “committed” and “you” in the same sentence. Provided: I will not add “mental institution” to such sentence until the 5th month.

9. In months 1 and 2, we shall engage in frequent, excessive public displays of affection. During months 3 to 5, such display shall decline in direct proportion to number of syllables we utter to each other wile dining out. In month 6, excessive displays shall resume, but only with persons not party to this agreement.

10. I will see only the good in your numerous negative qualities until the 6th month, at which point I will come to the startling realization that your playfulness is really immaturity, your caring is co-dependence and your confidence is narcissism.

11. At all times, I shall confuse love with lust.

By:
(Relationor)

By:
(Relationee)

Literature

2005-08-31T12:31:00.000-07:00

Sir Richard Livingstone: 'We are tied, all our days and for the greater part of our days, to the commonplace. That is where contact with great thinkers, great literature helps. In their company we are still in the ordinary world, but it is the ordinary world transfigured and seen through the eyes of wisdom and genius. And some of their vision becomes our own.'

BRIEF ON COMMERCIAL USES OF SPACE

2005-04-04T23:55:00.000-07:00

- Space is a medium, rather than an object, for commercial use; it must have/serve a purpose

- Space can be used to clean up earth's environment from the hazardous materials that we generate/have in storage

-- Lunar base (or even other planetary moons) for processing/burying hazardous materials

-- Other planetary moons offer the advantage of near absolute zero temperatures thus life-cycle of radioactive materials may be "frozen in time" in stable environment for possible later uses/scientific studies in cryogenics/studies in quantum mechanics, etc.

--- Triton and Titan are the moons considered because of their extremely cold environment

-- Alternatively, containers of hazardous materials may be launched towards the sun for safe permanent and complete disposal

-- Hazardous cargo transportation will be bulk of space business

--- Need to solicit container/vehicular designs from industry

- Scientific discoveries/research are useful benefits to be derived from the primary purpose of hazardous materials disposal

-- It is politically difficult to advocate space exploration for potential scientific use. Contrariwise, environmental clean-up is something that all can understand and is viewed as essential to our future

- Commercial opportunity exist for businesses engaged in waste disposal

-- Private industry packages/transports waste to central launch facilities

--- Lunar base itself built by private industry for government. Private industry can also run lunar bases under contract from government.

-- Government responsible for launch of materials into space and arrival of materials to appropriate destination

- What needs to be done?

-- Long-term environmental space policy/commitment by US government

--- Alternatively, these policies may be carried out under UN auspices combining launch facilities of launch capable countries into integrated operations

-- In 25 years, environmental disposal policy in space fully implemented and on-going operations

--- 2008 - 2011: Feasibility studies completed; container prototypes built; lunar base design complete/launch towards Sun project in full development stage; industrial contract sought/completed

--- 2013 - 2017: Construction of lunar base begun; Solar launch completed/results evaluated; Triton/Titan design, scientific evaluation of benefits/debits, cost evaluation/merits of Triton/Titan project

--- 2018 - 2020: Lunar base completed, limited operations in storage of materials; continued launches towards sun with the most hazardous materials on board

--- 2021 - 2025: Lunar base in full operations; launches from earth occur on regular schedule, backlog of hazardous materials accumulated on earth reduced by half; launches towards sun with most hazardous radioactive materials on board continue; launch towards Triton/Titan with experimental payload

--- 2026 - 2030: Environmental disposal policy in space is normal part of our daily life, policy review completed to evaluate results; manufacture of hazardous materials/processing accomplished in moon base, not on earth

-- Government must prioritize disposal operations in terms of what needs to be disposed of immediately versus what can wait

-- Commercial opportunities are abundant; government must actively open door for business access

--- Government must recognize that private business cannot go at it alone; environmental disposal policy in space is truly a joint governmental-private industry partnership

-- Costs can be recovered in part by disposal fees charged to the generators of hazardous wastes; disposal companies assume responsibilities for the proper processing/compliance with environmental regulations. Hazardous waste generators only have to contract for disposal/identify materials

- Clearly we shouldn't continue to pour in money to temporary solutions as we do now. Environmental disposal policy in space is a permanent solution to the hazardous waste problem that confronts us today

- Environmental disposal policy in space is a long-term commitment by the government in partnership with industry to clean up our planet through the abundant medium of space

-- National consensus must be achieved in order to accomplish this

-- School education plays key role, with math/science needs looming large

--- Positive aspect rather than negative, i.e., we need better scientific education at earlier ages

--- Industry must emphasize that this are the needs that will generate tomorrow's jobs

I Would Like

2005-04-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

I Would Like by Yegnenyi Yevtushenko

I would like
to be born
in every country,have a passport for them all to throw all foreign offices into panic, be every fish in every ocean and every dog in the streets of the world. I don’t want to bow down before any idols or play at being a Russian Orthodox church hippie, but I would like to plunge deep into Lake Baikal and surface snorting somewhere, why not in the Mississippi? In my damned beloved universe I would like to be a lonely weed, but not a delicate Narcissus kissing his own mug in the mirror. I would like to be any of God’s creatures right down to the last mangy hyena--but never a tyrant or even the cat of a tyrant. I would like to be reincarnated as a man in any image: a victim of prison tortures, a homeless child in the slums of Hong Kong, a living skeleton in Bangladesh, a holy beggar in Tibet, a black in Cape Town, but never in the image of Rambo. The only people whom I hate are the hypocrites--pickled hyenas in heavy syrup. I would like to lie under the knives of all the surgeons in the world, be hunchbacked, blind, suffer all kinds of diseases, wounds and scars, be a victim of war, or a sweeper of cigarette butts, just so a filthy microbe of superiority doesn’t creep inside. I would not like to be in the elite, nor, of course, in the cowardly herd, nor be a guard dog of that herd, nor a shepherd, sheltered by that herd. And I would like happiness, but not at the expense of the unhappy, and I would like freedom, but not at the expense of the unfree. I would like to love all the women in the world, and I would like to be a woman, too-- just once...Men have been diminished by Mother Nature. Why couldn’t we give motherhood to men? If an innocent child stirred below his heart, man would probably not be so cruel. I would like to be man’s daily bread--say, a cup of rice for a Vietnamese woman in mourning, cheap wine in a Neapolitan workers’ trattoria, or a tiny tube of cheese in orbit round the moon. Let them eat me, let them drink me, only let my death be of some use. I would like to belong to all times, shock all history so much that it would be amazed what a smart aleck I was. I would like to bring Nefertiti to Pushkin in a troika. I would like to increase the space of a moment a hundredfold, so that in the same moment I could drink vodka with fishermen in Siberia and sit together with Homer, Dante, Shakespeare, and Tolstoy, drinking anything, except, of course, Coca-Cola,--dance to the tom-toms in the Congo,--strike at Renault,--chase a ball with Brazilian boys at Copacabana Beach. I would like to know every language, like the secret waters under the earth, and do all kinds of work at once. I would make sure that one Yevtushenko was merely a poet, the second--an underground fighter somewhere,I couldn’t say where for security reasons, the third--a student at Berkeley, the fourth--a jolly Georgian drinker, and the fifth-- maybe a teacher of Eskimo children in Alaska, the sixth-- a young president, somewhere, say, modestly speaking, in Sierra Leone,the seventh-- would still be shaking a rattle in his stroller, and the tenth... the hundredth... the millionth...For me it’s not enough to be myself, let me be everyone! Every creature usually has a double, but God was stingy with the carbon paper, and in his Paradise Publishing Corporation made a unique copy of me. But I shall muddle up all God’s cards-- I shall confound God! I shall be in a thousand copies to the end of my days,so that the earth buzzes with me, and computers go berserk in the world census of me. I would like to fight on all your barricades, humanity,dying each night like an exhausted moon,and resurrecting each morning like a newborn sun, with an immortal soft spot--fontanel-- on my head. And when I die, a smart-aleck Siberian Francois Villon, do not lay me in the earth of France or Italy, but in our Russian, Siberian earth, on a still-green hill, where I first felt that I was everyone.

The Rose

2005-04-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

I sometimes think that never blows so red
The Rose as where some buried Caesar bled;
That every Hyacinth the Garden wears
Dropt in its Lap from some once lovely head

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam